


Place Called Home

by STARSdidathing



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Adoption, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Role Reversal, Developing Relationship, Disguise, Feels, First Meetings, Fluff, Jotunn Loki (Marvel), Jötunheimr | Jotunheim, Loki & Tony Stark Friendship, M/M, Magic, Role Reversal, Secrets, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-19 00:21:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20200630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/STARSdidathing/pseuds/STARSdidathing
Summary: Anthony had known he was different from a young age.





	Place Called Home

Anthony had known he was different from a young age.

He was smaller than all the other children, and unlike them he couldn’t play in the snow as long. He always got cold and sick. It didn’t make any sense. How could he be so similar and yet, so different?

When he was old enough to ask _why_, and smart enough to understand, his parents sat him down and spoke to him.

He learned that his parents were _not_ his true parents. Edwin and Ana had found him abandoned in the snows of Jotunheim as a baby. He was close to death, and it was a miracle he had been found at all. They had brought him inside, kept him warm and, unable to have children of their own, Ana had cast a powerful glamour on him.

Anthony was not of the Jotnar, he was an Aesir and the planet’s greatest enemy.

He’d been angry and upset, but he’d hugged his parents close; because they _were_ his parents, and they swore that they loved every bit of him, even the Asgardian parts.

As Anthony grew older, he understood why his parents had sworn him to secrecy; if anyone learned what he was, his parents would be killed and so would he.

Anthony never breathed a word, and he always wore the necklace his mother had given him that day. It helped secure the glamour that made him look Jotun and kept him protected from the cold.

He had only removed it once, wanting to know what he looked like. His skin was pale pink and his eyes were brown; there were no other changes. His hair still grew and looked the same. Anthony saw no reason to look again; his race had abandoned him, and his family was of Jotunheim.

Anthony remained short for a Jotun, and he never overcame the chill of the planet. He also had no magic and could not shapeshift. It made him _odd_ and it meant he would be unlikely to make a good match. Anthony hadn’t minded. He crafted inventions that would help him remain undetected. It was all he needed. He didn’t need a lover who might discover his secret.

His parents suggested he leave Jotunheim. They could find a hidden pathway and send him to another planet where he could live without fear of discovery. Anthony refused; he wouldn’t leave his parents.

Anthony was managing fine with no one the wiser; for five hundred years, he lived happily with his parents.

But, one day when he was exploring the landscape and seeking a new animal to hunt for a pelt (the winters were getting colder and the invention used to warm his bed was short-circuiting) that he ran into another Jotun.

Literally.

He’d been running, trying to catch a fleeing füürving and had been leaping over a snow mound. The other Jotun had been walking up the other side and Anthony made a sound of shock, but it wasn’t enough to keep them from colliding and rolling down the side.

They landed with a heavy thump at the bottom of the drift. 

Anthony shook the snow from his eyes and hair. He lifted up into a sitting position, already apologising.

“I am sorry! I was chasing the füürving and I didn’t look. Mother always says I need to pay more attention. Are you alright?”

The Jotun was frowning, his black hair was a mess and as Anthony got a better look at him, Anthony realised with a smile. “Hey! You’re almost as short as me!”

The Jotun was almost two heads taller than Anthony, but considering most were twice as large as him, it was unbelievably exciting. 

The other Jotun also seemed surprised and intrigued. “I thought I was the shortest on the planet.”

“No,” Anthony laughed ruefully. “That still belongs to me.” He continued to smile. “What are you doing out here?”

“I was enjoying the day,” the Jotun replied. “No other reason.” He tilted his head. “But why are you hunting a füürving?”

Anthony didn’t hesitate to lie. “I wanted to gift it’s pelt to my Mother.”

The Jotun smiled faintly. He also pushed himself from the snow and Anthony did the same. “Would you like some help?”

Anthony, so rarely offered time with others who found him so strange, leapt at the chance. “I would love it!”

The Jotun smiled, but there was something guarded to his eyes. His voice was cautious as he said, “I am Loki.”

Anthony didn’t know why he was hesitant, but he replied easily, “I’m Anthony.”

When nothing more followed, Loki smiled, the expression full of delight. “Excellent. Let us hunt a füürving!”

He gestured for Anthony to start walking, and Anthony easily fell into step with him as they took off into the frozen tundra.

In hindsight, a hundred things could have gone wrong; Loki could have robbed him, murdered him or stolen the pelt from him.

Loki did none of those things. They spoke the entire time, laughing and sharing anecdotes. Loki was fun and intelligent. He had three brothers who were all larger than him. He was by far the better mage, but it still left him at odds. Anthony understood and spoke of his own shortcomings and why he was seen as _less_.

They got along well, Anthony _liked_ him, and together they managed to bring down the füürving. Loki’s magic came in handy as he floated it back for them. Anthony asked if Loki would stay for a meal since his parents would cook the füürving and it was as much his spoils as Anthony’s.

Loki smiled and agreed. Anthony had been excited, thinking, _for the first time_, that he had finally found a friend. When he returned home, he called for his parents, they came out smiling only to freeze when they saw Loki.

“Mother, Father this is-”

They dropped to their knees in a low bow. Anthony looked at them, feeling flabbergasted. He turned back to Loki who had a small, apologetic grin, yet mischief sparked in his eyes.

“I am sorry, Anthony. Did I not mention I was King Laufey’s son?”

Anthony’s eyes had widened and he planned to bow as well, but Loki waved it off.

“Do not let it concern you. I enjoyed being nothing more than ‘Loki’ to you, and I would like to do so again.” He turned to Anthony’s parents and requested. “Please, rise. Anthony invited me as a guest, not a prince.”

_Prince_, Anthony thought, staring at the Jotun beside him.

His parents rose slowly, and while they tried to relax, they remained ill at ease. Likely because their most dangerous secret was standing beside the prince, hidden by little more than a glamour. Anthony’s hand curved around his necklace protectively, yet Loki hardly seemed to notice.

He spoke politely and offered to help with skinning the füürving. Anthony’s mother accepted the pelt with a smile and a kiss to Anthony’s cheek. They both knew she would return it to him once Loki left.

The prince stayed for dinner and was pleasant company; speaking to Anthony's father about the bitter winter, and his mother about the cooking. He thanked them all for the meal and left with a polite nod of his head and a shimmer of green magic.

They all breathed a sigh of relief and Anthony apologised for the accident. Luckily, his parents understood and forgave him. They were all grateful Anthony hadn't been discovered.

Anthony never expected to see the prince again.

But, Loki returned, not two days later.

Anthony had been pushing away snow from the back of the house, using one of his many inventions. He didn’t know Loki was there until the prince announced himself.

“Surely magic would be easier?”

Anthony jerked and looked up to find the Jotun sitting on a branch of the nearby tree. He eyed Anthony with curiosity and amusement.

“I am sure it would, Prince Loki,” Anthony said. “But I do not have any.”

Loki frowned. “Do not do that.”

“Do what?”

“Treat me like a prince.”

Anthony's eyebrows furrowed. “But, you _are_ a prince.”

“Yes,” Loki agreed. He shifted and from one moment to the next he was on the ground directly in front of Anthony. “But I liked being just ‘Loki’ to you.” He looked hopeful. “Can we return to it?”

Anthony chewed on his bottom lip. A thousand worries running through his mind; yet, it wasn't the one he expected that slipped from his lips.

“How would I treat you then?”

“Like a friend?” Loki asked, his gaze filled with a yearning that Anthony could understand; it was a feeling he had felt all his life - looking out at the other children and finding no one who would wish to spend their time with him.

He knew it would be a mistake to make friends with the Jotun who, with one look at his pale skin, could sentence him to death.

But, Anthony had wanted a friend for years and he already liked Loki.

It was why he smiled shyly and said, “As my friend, will you help me clear the snow?”

Loki grinned with excitement and delight. It was so nice to look at, and Anthony found himself flushing and glancing away.

Anthony knew this would only lead to trouble, but he simply couldn’t say no.

* * *

His parents were worried about his friendship with Loki. They feared the revelation of his secret, but they knew how happy he was and didn’t want to ruin it. They worried, but they didn’t try to interfere.

Anthony tried to forget the weight of the necklace around his neck as he spent time with the prince. Loki was mischievous and witty. They could talk for hours and they often went walking through Jotunheim. They both preferred the wide expansive of snow over the bustling city.

Loki didn’t like to be so near the castle where expectations were high and no one quite understood him. They all _loved_ him, but Loki was unusual and he found it hard to foster friendships.

Anthony, by comparison, avoided the city for fear of being discovered. His parents lived far from Jotunheim’s capital, and they preferred it that way; it was all the safer for raising their adopted son.

It meant that they spent their time in the isolation of Jotunheim’s wilderness or walking around the nearby village where Anthony had grown up. They didn’t venture towards the capital and Loki and Anthony were able to spend long days and evenings learning one another.

They camped inside the ice caves, they pushed back the snow around Anthony’s parent’s house. They threwballs of ice at one another and laughed until their bodies hurt. Anthony had never felt so happy. He’d never been so grateful that he took a chance and accepted Loki’s friendship.

But, three decades into their association, everything changed.

They had spent the day together, and were on a snow drift, similar to the one where they had both collided so long ago. They were lying with their back in the snow, staring up at the tranquil blue sky.

Anthony heard Loki shift, but he didn’t look away from the peaceful blue stretching out above him.

“Anthony?”

“Mm?” he hummed.

“I want to ask you something.”

Anthony waited, but when nothing followed, [he twisted his head in the snow to look at his friend](https://rabentochter.tumblr.com/image/186979244719). Loki was closer than he thought. The other Jotun had shifted to lay on the side, his head rested in his hand, his elbow in the snow. His blue skin was darker than Anthony’s but his eyes were a fairer red. Anthony didn’t know how that happened; was it his glamour that made his skin pale? Was the brown of his eyes what made his own darker? Was it just a coincidence of the spell?

Regardless of the answer, it didn’t make Loki any less beautiful.

He smiled at his friend. “Ask me, Loki. You can ask me anything.”

Loki bit his lip, chewing on it nervously. Anthony brought up his hand, touching Loki’s shoulder, hoping to offer comfort and support.

His touch, however, seemed to galvanise Loki into action, but instead of talking he bent down and before Anthony could do more than widen his eyes, Loki’s soft blue lips were pressed against his own.

Anthony gasped, and his heart flared with sudden unexpected warmth. It was as if a piece he hadn’t known was missing or had chosen to ignore suddenly slotted into place.

Because, Anthony always moved a little closer to Loki, always leant into the other Jotun’s space. He smiled when he saw the prince, he felt an ache in his chest when Loki was forced to leave. He thought Loki was the most handsome Jotun he had ever seen and, slowly and without his awareness, he’d been falling ever so softly for his friend.

And Loki, had been falling for _him_.

It all passed through his mind in a second, a single moment of realisation before he was raising his hands and leaning into Loki’s touch. He kissed the prince back and felt Loki shudder with relief. The kiss deepened and Loki leant a little more towards him. Loki’s hand touched his chest, catching on the cord of his necklace and-

Anthony’s eyes snapped open and he pushed Loki away. The movement was instinctive and Loki hadn’t expected it. The other Jotun landed in the snow with a confused splutter while Anthony sat up and let out a panicked gasp. He grabbed his necklace and looked down at his skin—_still blue_.

“Anthony?” Loki asked, sounding annoyed and confused.

He looked at the prince with wide eyes. He so desperately wanted to lean in again, to press his lips to Loki’s and apologise – but he couldn’t do it. Anthony was an _Aesir_, and he was Loki’s hated enemy. If Loki found out, the prince would hate him and would call for his death and that of his parents.

Anthony might adore Loki, but he couldn’t take the risk.

“I’m sorry,” he gasped out. “I’m sorry, Loki. I, I c-cant.”

Loki’s eyes widened, hurt flaring in his gaze, but Anthony didn’t see more. He hurried into a standing position and rushed down the snow drift. 

“Anthony!” Loki cried. 

Anthony ignored him, but Loki was not so easily swayed. He heard the sound of footsteps crunching in the snow and before he could get more than a few feet away, Loki’s hand was on his shoulder and he was forcing Anthony to face him.

He was frustrated, and pain laced his voice as he asked, “Anthony, what do you mean? Why can’t we?”

“I’m sorry,” Anthony said, misery in his voice and expression. 

“Don’t say you’re sorry,” Loki whispered, hurt still abundant in his eyes. “Tell me _why_.”

“I can’t,” Anthony hissed. “I should never have done this, Loki. I’m sorry.” He shook his head, and it hurt to say, but the words were no less true, “You shouldn’t come back.”

“What?” The words sounded punched out of Loki, his grip tightened on Anthony’s shoulder. “No. Anthony, please! You can’t! You’re my friend! You’re my…” his jaw trembled, “you’re my _everything_.”

Anthony’s eyes widened, but Loki just cupped his cheek again. He also leant close, pressing their foreheads together. “You make me feel like I belong, like I am _understood_. You make me feel happy and I do not want to lose you.”

“Loki…”

“You kissed me back, I know you did!” Yet, a moment later he slumped forward. “But we do not have to do that. We can stay friends. We can pretend it never happened.”

But, Anthony was already shaking his head.

He knew the truth now. He knew how he felt, and nothing could erase that. Anthony also knew that he couldn’t stay around Loki forever. Sooner or later, something would happen. He didn’t want his friend to hate him. He didn’t want Loki to think he had been lied to.

Anthony knew he should pull away, but instead he raised his hands and cupped Loki’s which were pressed to his cheeks.

“I never meant to hurt you, but I can’t do this. I am so sorry.”

It was the hardest thing in the world, to yank away from Loki.

“Anthony!” Loki yelled, sounding desolate and desperate. He reached out for Anthony again, and Anthony tried to avoid him.

He moved the wrong way and Loki gripped the wrong thing and the force of two opposing movements was all that was needed for a cord, centuries old, to snap. The necklace holding his glamour was ripped from his neck to be held in Loki’s hand.

And, like something from his nightmares, Anthony stared in horror as his skin turned from Jotun blue to Aesir white while Loki watched on with shocked red eyes.

“You’re…”

“I can explain,” Anthony pleaded, his hands raised defensively and his eyes pleading for Loki to listen. When Loki didn’t start attacking him or shouting that he was a traitor, Anthony let the truth spill out, “I was abandoned as a baby. I would have died. Mother and Father couldn’t condemn anyone to that, even their enemy. They… I…” Anthony was trembling. “I have lived here my whole life. Jotunheim is my _home_. It is all I have ever known and the only place I want to be. P-Please Loki, please don’t hurt them for raising me.”

Loki’s hand had fallen to his side during Anthony’s words, the necklace still clasped in his hand and a confused furrow on his brow.

“They found you abandoned?”

“Yes,” Anthony said. “They do not know how I arrived here, but they think I was left here to die.” Anthony could feel the bite of the snow and he was starting to shiver, but he didn’t lower his hands. “They knew I would be killed if they told anyone about me. They gave me protection and told me when I was old enough to realise I was different.”

“What they did was treason,” Loki murmured. “They hid an enemy of Jotunheim.”

“I was a _baby_,” Anthony hissed. “I knew nothing of the Aesir! I _still_ know nothing and I _want_ nothing to do with them! This is my planet, my f-family, my _h-home_.” Anthony’s teeth were chatting and he finally lowered his arms if only to wrap around his bare chest for warmth. “I am s-sorry I l-lied to y-you. I c-couldn’t t-tell you.” Anthony closed his eyes. “You are my e-everything too, but I am from a race of m-monsters.”

Because, even if his parents had never told him the stories, he had heard enough. The Asgardians had stolen the Casket of Ancient Winters, had burned their villages to the ground. They had done everything possible to steal the heart and soul from the people of Jotunheim.

The Aesir hadn’t just fought a war, they had done everything in their power to _destroy_ the Jotnar. 

Anthony hated them with all of his being, and if the Aesir ever returned, he would stand and fight beside the Jotnar. He would die as one of them and be proud to do so, but he knew Loki might never believe that.

But, before he could slump even further, he felt a soft touch to his shoulder, followed by a burst of warmth. He jerked his head up, his eyes wide as he looked at Loki who stood only inches away from him. He looked worried as he held up the necklace.

“Does this keep you from experiencing the cold?”

Anthony blinked, expecting numerous questions, but not that one.

“Why does it matter?” Anthony asked, feeling miserable. “Should you not be glad to see the cold harm me?”

“I would never want to see you harmed,” Loki told him fiercely.

Anthony blinked. “But… But I am-”

“A Jotun,” Loki insisted. “Raised here, if not born here. You carry our planet in your heart, if not on your skin.”

Anthony was already shaking his head. “But, I am a traitor. I am-”

Loki stopped his words by bending down and pressing his lips to Anthony’s. He gasped. They felt so much colder than before, and yet, it just reminded him of the snow and Anthony leant into his touch, craving more of it.

But, Loki pulled back too soon. He was smiling. He also used a hint of seidr on the cord of the necklace before he was gently dropping it around Anthony’s neck once more.

Anthony looked down, seeing his blue skin slowly slide back over his body. He touched the raised markings with relief, and Loki’s hand soon joined him. The prince’s fingers skimmed his chest before catching his hand and holding it in his own.

Raising his gaze, he looked into Loki’s soft features, filled with just as much affection as before. It didn’t make any sense.

“How can you still care for me?” Anthony whispered. “You know what I am now.”

“I have always known what you are,” Loki told him. “My friend, and a Jotun as strange as I. You are the one I care for more than any other. The fact that your skin is white at times doesn’t matter to me.”

“But what about the King? What about the others? What about-”

“We will keep it from them for now,” Loki told him, squeezing Anthony’s hand. “When the time is right and I can be assured of your family’s safety, I will explain.”

“But, Loki-”

“No buts,” Loki insisted. He leant down and kissed Anthony’s cheek. “I have heard enough of your insistent ‘_can’t’s’_ for a day.” He was smiling as he said it, and he leant their foreheads together once more. He smiled. “Trust me, Anthony, and I shall find a way to make things work.”

Anthony bit his lip, debating what to do, but looking into Loki’s hopeful eyes, Anthony found he could only do what he had done in the past; give in.

“Alright,” he agreed.

And when the reward was Loki’s wide, delighted smile, Anthony knew that just like everything else Loki had ever proposed; Anthony would hope for the best while following Loki anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> I liked the idea of flipping the story of Tony being a hidden babe on Jotunheim - YOU KNOW WITH ADOPTION DONE RIGHT AND HIM BEING TOLD FROM THE START AND NOT HATING HIMSELF.
> 
> But, ahem I hope you enjoyed the concept too :)
> 
> <s>This turned out waaay more fluffy and weirdly written then I expected and I'm not sure I like it, but, whatever. Hopefully you all did.</s>
> 
> **EDIT:** Rabentochter did some beautiful art and it is linked in the story but can also be found [here](https://rabentochter.tumblr.com/post/186979244719/anthony-waited-but-when-nothing-followed-he). GO GIVE THEM SOME LOVE. ♥


End file.
